I found myself with this strange feeling coming over me .....I can't really explain what it is ..so I will just descripe it ...it's when you are sad but somehow not worried about it ...calm but nervous...a sense of happiness coming by and anxiety from what is to become ... a sense of accomplishment accompained by a sense of fear of failure ....you feel that you can do whatever but in the next minute you think you cant do anything ....
I guess this is just the next logical step to this new change in my life ...I know in my heart things will work out for the best in the end ...all I have to do is relax and let life go by with its ups and downs.....
In the end if your reading this (you know who you are ) know that I am allright and waiting for you .....

We are going back again....back to that place where you want to escape but somehow you want to go .....I guess I could say that I did alot of what I wanted to do this time....but I would be just lying...truth of the matter is that I lost so much.....I had faith in the wrong kind of people but amazingly enough I never thought things would turn out like this ...I thought I was stronger than to let this get to me ...but my pride got the best of me ...I could say I want to take it all back and start over ...but actually I am not sure that's what I want ...I dont want to be that kind of person ..I will never let this kind of thing happen again..............

I am sorry ..I know this doesnt make much sense to you but to me it does ...I am not writing this for you I just wanted some kind of proof that I took that step and I am capable of handeling it

THIS IS THE END OF A CHAPTER IN MY LIFE AND THOUGHT TO MANY PEOPLES' EYES I MAY LOOK THE SAME AND ACT THE SAME BUT I AM NOT THE SAME ..NOT ANYMORE

SALAM

So I thought to my self what's a better way to feel a change than an actual change ....BIG MISTAKE..I don't know what's gotten into me...I had this strange impulse and I acted on it which is totally out of charecter ask anyone who knows me ....
now I wont say what was it that I did but I will say this.....It will take alot of time for me to get back to the way I was ...sometimes I think to myself "It's all good ...change is nice "...but sometime I can't help but say "what did I do??".....
It just shows to tell you that we build some sort of a figure for ourselves and we get comfortable in that way ...and somehow even the slightest change can make you feel like someone else....
You look into yourself in the mirror and can't help but wounder"Is this for the better ???..or will it all go down hill from there??""..I guess time is the only thing that can answer that ...

I am a sucker for laughter ...

I believe that the only reason you get old is that your heart no longer enjoys the blessing of laughing

so I try to thank God that I have that

I realize that in these days and time it may not be easy to laugh

but WE CAN STILL TRY

Just a little something to put a smile on your face...I hope
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish,unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or>feminine.>House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."? "Pencil," however,>is masculine: "el lapiz."
A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into >two> groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves> whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of >the> >>feminine gender ("la computer"), because
1. No one but their creator understands their internal>logic
2. The native language they use to communicate with other> >>computers> >>is incomprehensible to everyone else
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory >for> >>possible> >>later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself> >>spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ("el computer"), because
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them >on
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for >themselves
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but>half the> >>time> >>they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had> >>waited> >>a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won!!!!!!!

I just feel like I am being pulled in so many different directions …not knowing what I want in life or where I am going……I don’t see myself in ten years from now doing anything different that what I am doing now
Poof I am 19 huh …where did my the time go ??…wait I need them back I want to do somethings in a different way ….I wanted to do so many things and be good at them too
Oh well it’s no use crying over spilt milk right??….WRONG …I know you are probably saying that I still have my whole life ahead of me to maybe try and do something with it but I cant help but wonder if maybe the future is a reflection of the past

Summer .....

I am more of a winter person if you ask me .......

I like feeling cold and cuddling under my blanket and I love the rain.....

not that summer is all that bad ...

I am sure there are good things about it ....

I cant think of any right now because it's hot and the wheather sucks all day ...

but hey that's just my opinion...

I just got out of my exams and I am already thinking that I am bored like hell..

dont get me wrong I am so happy we finished but I cant help thinking ...now what??what am I to do with all that time got any ideas???

Who am I?Who are you?? Do you know that?...Do I really know??..I dont think so....
They say that everyone has his own identity, his own charecter , his own individuality...
but I see that most of us are just copies of one another made by the rule of the society which we live in
curved by the border lines of our traditions ....I am not saying that I am agianst being influenced by our past but I feel that
there are no more genuine thoughts....No authinticity.....
everyone even wears the same way ...and anyone who even dares to break this cycle gets labelled as a freak or as a rebel......
I dont think I am a rebel ..I am simply someone trying to crawl out of this hole ...I admit I do fall right back in some times but I refuse to give up ...